Life is not much fun without him...

So, I lost my boyfriend of 3 years about two months ago. Everyone just keeps telling me, it will take some time but I will be fine. Some of them dont even know what it's like to go through such a break up, but I know they mean well. This is just not a reality to me since he was the one (and still is the one) I would like to spend the rest of my life with. We always made such a great team, no matter what it was we did. Things were certainly not perfect, we fought/bickered sometimes, but at the end of each day all I wanted was to be with him...and I thought the feeling was mutual. My dad passed away last May, and this year was really difficult to say the least. I know that I was not always ms. sunshine and light, and for that I truly apologize. I know that I made life tough for my guy, myself, my family, and my friends sometimes. I know that I would explode with anger and sadness sometimes, and not allow myself to be happy because I felt that since dad couldnt be here and be happy, or loved, that I didnt deserve it either. I kind of pushed away people that were closest to me because I couldnt open up about my feelings all of the time... and didnt really know how to just let my emotions come out in a healthy way. I've been working on my attitude and the way I express myself for quite a few months now...even before the break up, but i guess by then my boyfriend had been blinded by whatever anger or sadness he was feeling that he couldnt see or didnt care to see the changes that were happening, how I was trying to show him that I had heard him when he said he needed more from me and such. He was always my rock, my hero, the strong shoulder of support that I have always loved. I would do anything for him, and I think he knows that. I've said it and shown it many many times. He has said that I'm the best friend that he's got around here, that i'm the only person who would really always be there for him...this was just a couple weeks ago he said this. We're not together...we have some communication, and I know he's feeling pretty confused so I try not to push or ask him for anything. Working things out cannot happen overnight, but life is torture without him. Getting out of bed every day is a struggle because I miss him so dearly. I know I am a very capable and independent woman who can make it on her own, but things are not as enjoyable without the one you love with all of your heart. I miss the greatest teammate I've ever had. All I can do is pray and hope that something will open his eyes to the fact that we had something amazing and that it's worth holding onto and fighting for. I know a guy like him does not come along every day and I wish I had said that to him every day. I wish I had told him how amazing he was and how much I love him. I hope that someday we could give us a second chance and end our love story happily ever after...I love you, always...you're my hero, my shining star, my everything.