i didn't want to, more like i was forced to.

my story is weird, and still frustrates and upsets me when i talk or think about it...me and my boyfriend had been together for a year and some change. no lie, i did get into some crazy shit with him, and he did get me in quite a bit of trouble. but i love the kid more than life itself. well, i got acid from him, more like one of his friends, and had a horrible trip, ending with a not-so-nice trip to the ER. when everything was done, my mom told me that it was either him or my family, and whoever i didn't stay with, i would have to cut ties with. it's hard to choose between to things you love with almost the same intensity. i do still talk to him once in a while, but i chose my family, not only because i do love them and dont want to loose them like that, but because i dont want to mess up my chances with college, and transferring, finally, to the college i REALLY wanted to be at in the first place. who knows, maybe in the future we'll run into eachother again, and things may be different. but for now, i sit here with a huge whole in my heart, and despite the fact that he may have helped in leading me down the wrong road for a bit, loosing the best thing that ever happened to me. see, it's not totally his fault all this happened. it's not like he would ever force me to do anything i didnt want to do. i readily chose to do what i did with the drugs. and i've lost alot of my life in the process. figures doesnt it...