Chris

When i was thirteen/fourteen years old. I met this guy through my three new best friends. He was so gorgeous...before then I never had a real boyfriend, and all my others really didn't turn out so well. I ended up dating this kid with intentions of it ending in about a week. All i could think was "this kid is wayyy too good looking for me"..a few months passed, i was still shocked, things were so perfect. All my friends were envious of me and him. We fit perfectly, what needed to be the same, was the same. what was different, was different and we liked our differences. Our connection was perfect. I never felt so real and beautiful. I never felt as happy as I did then. This relationship lasted 2 years. Two years that I had no idea if i let go would haunt me for the rest of my life.....but at that age, i was so scared that he was really the one. Obviously he did too. We split up for different people. Still contacting each other randomly....I missed him, and I could tell he missed me too. but we would never ..EVER...mention that. I went on with some other guy for a year and four months. The whole time I tried to get chris off my mind, but it never left. I dated someone else, he tried, but always came to me to tell me how they failed. I would make him feel better. What did he do in return?? Today, two years later, hes never left my mind. I want him back more than anything. But im afraid now, that we've changed too much to go back to what we were. I was thirteen, i'm eighteen now. But im still in love with him. And i wish I knew if he still was in love with me too. But i feel like that is just a ridiculous thought. why am i still in love with him?